Lets make a memory

Our memories cradle our grief and preserve our joy.

Donning an apron instantly takes me back to my childhood. Every Sunday morning our family; Frederick, Val, Fred, Mark, Grandmother and I always attended 11:30 mass at Sts. Simon & Jude Church. My father sang in the church choir. Each week a different child was selected to sit with our dad in the choir loft. I thought this was such a special privilege, in reality, it was because my mother did not want to wrestle with three children in the church pew by herself.

Getting dressed in our best clothing and going to church together for Sunday mass was a predictable event. After mass we always gathered for a special “Sunday Afternoon Dinner”. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sunday_roast Early Sunday formal dinner was a carry over from the Rice side of my family. My mom was not so happy with this task, however, she and her mom worked in the kitchen every Sunday morning to get the roast cooking in the oven while we were at church. My grandmother was 72 years old when I was born. I can still picture my elderly grandmother working with my mom, in dresses, to complete the meal for serving in the dining room by 1:00pm. Each Sunday meal was a small dress rehearsal compared to the feasts they created for Holiday meals.

One of my favorite memories is that my mom & grandmother always wore beautiful aprons when they in the kitchen baking biscuits, cakes, pies or apple dumplings and putting the finishing touches on the meal. The big treat for me was being allowed to wear one of their apron as I set the table with the good china dishes. Dressed in a special apron I loved to twirl around and make up dances. This was so much fun that often I wore the apron all day.

Our family dinners lasted for hours. Because grandmother lived with us, almost every Sunday, members of my mom's relatives drove out to visit. Hospitality was natural with my mother. As family members arrived she would find spaces for another chair around the table. Pouring cups of coffee into china cups we savored the remnants of the meal, desserts, and the time we spent together. It was in this rich soil my love of family history sprouted roots. Gathered around this table that I grew to love family members both living and those that were dead before I was born. Hearing stories about these people made them real to me forming a loving connection to my ancestors. I listened intently as the adults laughed, sang, shared family jokes, stories as well as the remaining German words that they could remember.

Life is so much different than it was when I was a young girl in the 1960's. I was born into what was considered modern times yet those days seem very different than the society that makes up family life today. Technical advances has made families living within close proximity less common event. When I was young something called blue laws were still in affect to encourage families to attend worship services together, promoting Sunday as a day of rest. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blue_law Presently, shopping, sports or working on Sundays has replaced this meal in many families. It was a privilege to grow up in an home where family connections were valued. We were far from the Walton family or Little House on the Parries. In no way am I suggesting we were perfect or wonderful, still, there was something special about weekly gatherings of the family as peculiar as we all were.

Barry is flying home from New York City tomorrow. His is successful in his career and happy with his life that could not exist as it is outside of NYC. When Barry comes home I love to create meals inspired by the season. We savour these long, leisurely meals. Since it is the end of September I am planning to celebrate Oktoberfest this weekend.

This week I have been paging through my German cook books as well as the well worn 1930 copy of the New Delineator Recipe book that belonged to my grandmother.

I am planning to make the family recipes for bratwursts, sweet & sour red cabbage, grated potato pancakes with sour cream and bakes apple dumpling for dessert. Of course this will be accompanied with German Spezial beer, fresh brewed coffee, long talks, laughing and pics as I add one more page to our family memory book.

I will share some recipes and pictures of our gathering next week.

　
　
　
　
　
　
　

“You have to know the past to understand the present.” Dr. Carl Sagan quotes (American Astronomer, Writer and Scientist, 1934-1996)

As the end of summer approaches, cooler mornings, warm, sunny afternoons, chilly evenings fill the air here in Western New York. First hints of autumn leaves, new beginnings, nervous children start back to school, Labor Day Weekend and a full Harvest Moon creates feelings of nostalgia filling my head with memories of a wonderful summer as I make plans for the quickly arriving autumn season.

It had been our tradition to attend the Labor Day Fair in Clarence Center since we moved here. This year the parade was an hour longer than usual. Many more community fire departments were represented in this annual parade. In addition to honoring the American Workers, Firefighters and Emergency Medical Personnel this year the fair was overshadowed by the sadness the 50 people killed in flight crash February 12, 2009. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Colgan_Air_Flight_3407.

After the parade I stepped away from the crowds, walking just a few yards down Long Street. I wanted a moment of silence in front of the the crash site within a few yards of the Clarence Center Fire station.

I will never forget the evening of the plane crash. Jim was on a delayed flight leaving Buffalo Airport on route to Savannah to spend Valentines Weekend with me. Kara said it was a particularly heavy snow when she took Jim to the airport in Buffalo. After a long delay for deicing the plane Jim's US Air flight left Buffalo barely in time to catch his connection in Charlotte. Waiting outside at Savannah Hilton Head Airport for Jim's safe arrival my thoughts turned to the people who had survived the plane crash " Miracle on the Hudson" just one the month earlier. His plane arrived around 11:00 pm, while driving back to my apartment Kara called to tell us a plane crashed in Clarence Center.

Eventually, as more information became available, I learned that my next door neighbor's daughter-in- law died in that plane crash. A fellow parishioner from, Nativity of the Blessed Virgin Mary, was killed in his home along with all 49 passengers and crew on board. A student from Clarence High School was on her way home from Florida to be a Valentine date for her nephew in kindergarten. Also killed in this crash was the pregnant daughter of another friend from Nativity parish. My friend lost both his only daughter and his future grandchild in that crash. Beverley Eckert, one of the passengers killed on flight 3407, was flying to Buffalo to mark her late husband's birthday. She was a 9/11 widow.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2009/feb/13/buffalo-plane-crash-september-11-widow

The space is now clear, no home, no trees. All signs of the wreckage have been cleared to a vacant space. Tears flowed freely from my eyes as I felt the powerful energy radiate from the site where 50 people lost there lives. These people are dead yet not forgotten.

Today it is eight years since the tragic deaths of September 11, 2001 attack on America. Maybe you know someone who died as a result of that fateful day. In total, 2,993 people, including the hijackers, died in the attacks on the World Trade Center Twin Towers, Pentagon, and flight crash in Shanksville, Pennsylvania. The death count continues to add up as emergency response workers, volunteer helpers, service men and women who are still at war in the fight to protect our country and even new reporters lives are affected by this exponentially compounding American tragedy.

Remembering the past helps me to understand how we arrived at the present while also guiding my planning the future. The lessons we learn from death it that life is too short to hate. Take a moment to remember the dead, say thank you to those who bring good into your life and look for ways to make life better for those in need of a helping hand.

"If you love something, set it free; if it comes back it's yours, if it doesn't, it never was. " Anonymous

For the past three weeks I have been sorting through items that I am ready to set free. I have always been a very sentimental keeper of cards and gifts so when I get the urge to purge my family applaudes my efforts. Maybe taking a hoarder who is in the middle of giving things away t may be about as good as taking person detemined to lose weight to the Chocolate Factory in Hershey, Pa. Ecstatic to be off work Saturday morning Kara pulled me out to her car insisting we were going to the kick off the weekend by with a visit to Antique World. Always happy to spend time with Kara, not wanting to disappoint her, I said YES !!! http://www.antiqueworldmarket.com/

Kara had been here before so she knew what to expect. I've lived here for ten years, this was my first visit to what can only be described as an extraordinary amount of antiques, nearly antique, some gently used and nearly new items. Kara parked a few blocks away down Main St. giving me time to wonder if I really wanted to keep walking into the direction of the crowds. In addition to the regular vendors who rent spaces for sales all year long, the first weekend of every month, extra dealers bring goods to an Open Market that really fills the lots with enthusiastic buyers and sellers.

As soon as we arrived Kara recognized her friend Crystal, after exchanging greetings, I went off to explore on my own while they talked. Table after table of jewelry, dishes, clocks, camp equipment, a Victorian fainting divan, rocking chairs, hats, garments, books, DVDs, sports equipment, and old school desks abound. Items were lined up around the grounds resembling the repetitive background of a Flinstone cartoon rolling the same images over and over and over again. I was surprised to see the reasonably inexpensive prices marked on items that flooded my head with memories of my childhood.

A metal food grinder, that I still have, like the one we used to make Cranberry Orange Relish every Thanksgiving and Christmas was a mere $5. The glass and brass Anniversary Clock I bought in 1974 for $100, still a cherished item on my mantel, was available in a variety of styles for only $10. When Kara caught up to me, she was amazed at how this Open Market was a nostalgic trip for me down memory lane .

One lady had a complete collection of vintage Barbie Dolls including my treasured Enchanting Evening Barbie in a pink, satin gown with a faux fur stole. Nice, however, I still have the one that kept me preoccupied in my imaginary designing world for untold hours at play. It has never been easy for me to a part with an old friend.

One vendor was wrapping a complete set of emamel camping dishes as his fellow vendors looked on in horror when he confessed the sale price was $5. He did not intend to take anything back home with him at the end of the day he explained. Yes, kids it is a buyers market out there.

More shoes, fur coats, velvet hats, decorative china cups and saucers, table linens, embroderied napkins, aprons and bed linens, and dresser trays. .Jewelry; old, new, costume and some rather nice delicate gold pieces were available for very low prices. Some venders were marking goods buy one get one half off.

Another section of the Open Market is where the permanent vendors rent space to sell all during the year. This section appealed to the serious collector. I stopped at the G I Joe table to see if they had the Frogman costumed action figure. They did not and I was not surprised as my brother Mark and I submerged his G I Joe underwater Frogman so often the suit deteriorated from years of play.

There were so many items for sale I got overwhelmed then needed to leave. Not enough variety is not good, too many offereings is chaos. Can't say how long we stayed except I got a healthy, sprinkling of freckles so it was time I got out of the sun. That and the fact that the half bushel of Beefsteak Tomatoes and four ears of Sweet White Corn was getting really heavy to carry even though Kara and I split the weight between us.

Yes, I was a good girl on this trip, had a great time with Kara, supported our local farmers and easily walked right past the hot dogs, french fries and kettle corn booths. My mind was set on a quick trip to our local Dash's Market for some fresh, wild Salmon and Whole Wheat Kaiser Rolls then home to assemble lunch. Jim was on the phone with his mother when we returned telling her the girls were out somewhere but he was sure we would return soon with something good for lunch ;~)

Fresh Wild Salmon on a toasted Whole Wheat Kaiser Roll, with generous slices Beefsteak Tomato, Romain Lettuce and a hint of Tartar Sauce. Perfect with Sweet White Corn & Bread & Butter Pickles as a healty alternative for Holiday Picnic Meal.

"There are two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle." -- Albert Einstein

It is a great comfort for me to believe in a Higher Power knowing that I not responsible to be the center of the universe. Born into a family of actively practicing Roman Catholics, I am the product of twelve years of Catholic education who actually still believes in God. Not a God of vengeance and hate but a God of Justice and Love. God does not belong to any one religion, in fact, religion has done more harm than good portraying the Great Spirit, Creator of the Universe. My brothers & I have always laughed that if the people who speak for God are the only ones in heaven, we don't want to go there.

Believing in the power of miracles is one large benefit that comes from believing in a Higher Power; everything that happens is not a series of random events. I love to look for clues, ways to connect the dots. How does one experience affects another? Living as an open for adventure person when one door closes I look for the open window following the light to a new path. No experience is a bad experience as long as I learn new lessons from the event.

When we moved to Western New York ten years ago I kept wondering why am I living in this area? Who am I supposed meet during my time in the area? I keep looking for the wonder of the moment during each day. Many positive events have happened to Jimi, Barry, Kara and I from our time living in Clarence. We have met many interesting, kind, hardworking people, as well as, benefited from education and career advancement. Now that our children are adults the need to be here is less important. Jim and I have done our job, educated Barry and Kara and are now free to move into a less stressful lifestyle in a smaller home out of the Lake Erie snow belt with seven month winters.

A few years ago, before this recent economic slow down hit, moving to a new town could be rather simple following a few steps; research new town, find house, find job, sell present home and move. With the slow down on real estate sales this is not a easiest time to relocate. The situation is a bit more challenging yet not impossible.

Enter Higher Power.

Beginning today I am starting an experiment in positive thinking to set a miracle into motion...

I intend to put the gears in motion for the relocation project. Looking for an openings, as the events reveal themselves, I will post the progress...

"A good cook is....an artist whom one may bless after having eaten the courses he has served, an officer who will make one's table the envy of all who have shared its good cheer, ”

Isabella Beeton (1836-1865)

The Book of Household Management (1861)

While we were in Pittsburgh last weekend we stopped at Trader Joe's on Penn Ave. in Shadyside. I have heard of Trader Joe's so frequently while I lived in the south that my expectations were high. http://www.traderjoes.com/locations.asp

Trader Joe's features organic foods at reasonable prices. Within seconds after arriving inside I was over whelmed by the plastic wrap on almost everything. After walking around the store a few times trying to figure out what draws customers to this store I discovered a nice young man cooking food samples for the lines of people. The food featured this day was Cheese Ravioli fried in olive oil, Chicken Cheese Red Wine Hot Italian Sausage, Wild Mushrooms served with a dollop of Trader Joe's Marinara sauce.

Recipes are an inspiration point for me rather than a formula to follow precisely. The flavors in the sample were enough to send my imagination running wild. Cook in living color with a healthy variety of vegetables each day to make a nice meal.

Imagine an aubergine eggplant washed cut into cubes, leave the skin on, saute in a large pan with heated extra virgin olive oil, minced garlic and a pinch of sea salt. Cook the eggplant down until almost tender the add a generous handful of diced peppers green, red, yellow and orange.

Thoroughly cook the Chicken Hot Italian Sausage in a hot skillet with a few drops of olive oil. After sausage is cooked remove and discard the grease drippings. Then cut sausage into bite size pieces to be added into the sauteed vegetable mix.

Wash, core, remove the seeds then cut the four peppers into small pieces. Toss an handful in with the eggplant & garlic. The remainder of the peppers will be stored in the freeze in an air tight plastic sealed container ready for the another cooking adventure.

Trader Joe's featured a package of dehydrated assortment of wild mushrooms. Rehydrate the mushrooms in a pan of hot water, remove mushrooms then reserve the water after mushrooms are pulp and full. Next heat the water to boil before adding one package of Trader Joe's Cheese Ravioli. Remove from the hot, wild mushroom flavored water after cooking.

This flavorful reserve liquid will be cooked down to coax tomato paste, crushed tomatoes, oregano, basil, parsley & Italian seasonings into a wonderful marinara sauce that will accompany your Chicken Italian Sausage, Cheese Ravioli, Wild Mushrooms & Colorful Vegetable Medley. Combined into a one dish then topped with a sprinkle of a good quality Parmesan Reggiano Cheese.

This meal is sure to excite your sense of taste, smell and sight as well as providing a chew that is pleasant to the pallet. Adjust portion size of ingredients to meet your needs.

Good cooking is meant to be savored and shared with friends or family. Invite someone to dine with you or bring extras along to share as a picnic lunch at the office.

"Anybody feel like grabbing a couple of burgers and hitting the cemetery? ..." www.scribd.com/doc/.../The-Royal-Tenenbaums-Script










Great weekend in Pittsburgh offers many unexpected treasures. My husband's aunt has not been feeling well this summer. We decided in the true Irish family tradition to call a gathering of the clan hoping to cheer her spirits before the surgery. A quick all point bulletin brought together twelve family members for the weekend. I lovingly prepared and packed the Saturday night supper meal of; Pulled Pork Sandwiches, Boston Baked Beans seasoned with Brown Sugar, Onions and Bacon,Brown Bread, Cole Slaw, Potato Salad, Corn Relish-Sliced Tomatoes. To complete the meal I baked Fresh Peach Pie & Frosted Dark Fudge Pecan Brownies for dessert.

Saturday morning we scrambled from Shadyside to picked Barry up at the Pittsburgh International Airport. First stop Resurrection Cemetery for a visit with my parents. http://www.illinoistimes.com/gyrobase/Content?oid=oid%3A6816

We didn't really have a picnic at the graves, maybe next time we will. We did place floral sprays I made for the Rice graves, share some stories of good times with grandma and grandpa, catch them up on our latest life adventures then say a prayer before Barry treated us to brunch at Eat & Park an Pittsburgh tradition .

It was during brunch I suggested we stop at a new Shaw Gallery http://www.shawgalleries.com/Shaw_Galleries/Welcome.html featuring historical maps. Everyone was in agreement to see this new gallery as we all get excited about history. That was easy, with everyone in agreement to go Jim, Barry, Kara and I delved right into the collection of maps. Faces down, squealing with delight we were prompted by the owner to more maps that could be of interest to us, occasionally pointing out areas of interest to each other. EUREAKA !!! One stop that captivated four people;~)

Before I do anything I enjoy doing my research. I had learned that Kurt's interest in maps was fostered by his grandfather who was a fisherman. This sounds nice, I'm thinking, I wish I could have met the grandfather also. I am getting curiouser and curiouser.

After about ten minutes of glee perusing the gallery, I introduced myself as a Canevin alum '74, to the proprietor Kurt Shaw. Obviously a younger man, wise beyond his years, Kurt mentions one of my classmates who also happens to be his cousin. For the next three minutes names are flying back and forth until we had so many names in common that Kurt and I determined a startling revelation. His map collecting, fisherman, grandfather and my mother's older brother are the same person. I had met his grandfather only his was my uncle to my way of thinking.
After getting over the shock and chills of finding a new blood connection we find we have much in common sharing the family tree from different perspectives. Sure hope we can drive back to Pittsburgh to attend the official Grand Opening September 11th 5:30- 9pm.

" Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom." Psalm 90:12

" Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom." Psalm 90:12

This past year I have had the privilege to move seven states away for home to attend graduate school as an adult learner. Perhaps it is in direct correlation to the stock market collapse annihilating everyone retirement account, oddly enough, Jimi feels this has been the best investment of time and money we could have spent during the past year. Two weeks before I left for school my husband received the news he was not going to have the position that precipitated our move from Pittsburgh to Western New York in 1999.

Early in September while I was getting acclimated to being a student again my husband and I watched the invisible empire of our future retirement melt into a puddle of spilt milk. The world wide economic collapse leaves millions of baby boomer who eyed the exit door with visions of a grand retirement chained to their desk for a few more years. The ripple effect has generated frustration in the younger population who count on natural attrition of the older work force to open opportunities for their advancement up the ladder of monetary success. What we have now with a stagnant economy are disgruntled baby boomers who cannot afford to retire and six unemployed college graduates chasing every one job opening.

Maybe it is because I am 52 years old. Perhaps because I was with a graduate student population between 22 years old and say close to forty year old. Maybe it was because information was coming at me so quickly that I was over thinking everything. This past year has been a significant time of reflection for me.

I spent a lot of time thinking about my life choices, my husband, my children, my extended family and my friends and my aging pet one of whom died during my absence. Through the wonder of email and phone calls my family kept in touch with me regularly. It hurt to hear Barry tell me, " Mom you are out of the loop being down in Georgia." Often I felt like an observer of my family from a point after my death. Kara would call me as she walked around Wegmann's planning holiday meals from our traditional recipes. I dictated from memory the ingredients needed and specifics on how to achieve flavorful results. Over the phone I knew every detail about the holiday meals I would not be able to fly home to attend. Little by little I felt more like I was dead than alive.

No matter how many times the other student and professors tried to convince me it was better to stay in graduate school and focus on my art twenty hours a day I was not buying their vision of success. Feelings of being trapped, frustrated and anger permeated my art as I planned my escape back to life as I knew it. To the life I had designed for myself many years ago. With the force of a cannon I joyfully left the life of a graduate student. My exodus was easy after it was highly suggested to me that I was trying to get out too quickly. You think ???
I should slow down stay, stay at least until next November was not on my radar.

Death is a normal part of the life cycle. People are born and die everyday. World birth date statistic estimate 353,015 births per day balancing the 146,357 people around the world who die each day. http://www.wholesomewords.org/missions/greatc.html#birdatrate

Looking through this incomplete list of well known people who died within the last twelve months it is interesting that death has no respect for age, beauty, or economic status. http://abclocal.go.com/kabc/gallery?section=news/entertainment&id=6194695&photo=18

http://abclocal.go.com/kabc/gallery?section=on_the_red_carpet&id=6604124&photo=23

Summer 2009 seems surreal with the death of Michael Jackson and Billy Mays dead in their early 50's. Granted they both died as a result of drugs, non the less, it is a relatively early time to reach the end of ones life. The deaths of Jett Travolta, Natasha Richardson, Farrah Fawcett, Les Paul, Senator Ted Kennedy, Dominic Dunne... all have a message to us who remain behind.

At any minute of the day we all have an equal chance to be the next on the list. This kind of thinking could be deemed either very depressing by some people or very liberating by others. I align myself on the camp with the optimists. Unlike an animal we humans have the conscious knowledge of our impending death.

Along with the saying " Money and time can only be spent once, choose wisely." I taught my children that "with every privilege comes responsibility." My children learned at an early age never to tell me that they were bored. Boredom shows a lack of imagination and initiative.

Live like you are dying making use of the days that remain. Freedom comes with how we intend to use each day, hour, minute or second of our marvelous gift of life. We may not all have equal status and economic power, however, it doesn't cost anything to smile, stop to let someone cross a street or reach a item down in a store for someone in need. Don't waste a minute, you never know if it will be your last.

Picture top right is a Dress for the Autumn of My Life.